& you changed my life. More then you will ever know.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 04:51:34 GMT

I found this. and it makes me think alot about my struggle with quitting smoking. alot

You ever wonder how people do it? How people put out their cigarettes, put down that bottle, and simply walk away? I have. My whole life, which is a whopping eighteen years, I've been astounded by the strength these people have. I'm not justifying their behavior, I'm well aware they fell into that black hole all on their own, however, what we tend overlook is how much it takes out of someone to be able to pull themselves back out of said hole. Let me try to put it into persepective for you: Let's say you have a routine, you get up, maybe you shower, maybe you eat breakfast, whatever you do, it's probably not something you think about, you just do. That, my friend, is called a habit, and although your habit may not be threatening to your life, it's still something you'd feel odd if you didn't do. It's similiar to those who roll out of bed a stick a needle in their arms, it's how they get through their day. Just like, maybe you need a steaming hot cup of coffee to wake you up before work. It's the same thing, you're just lucky enough to have found something socially acceptable, where as they have not.

So now that I've got you thinking, consider this. What if you were to have an addiction so bad that if you do not start and end your day in a druken stupor or a thrilling high, you feel empty? What if, everytime you took out that razor, lit that lighter, tipped that bottle, you didn't think about what you were doing? You couldn't think about what you were doing, because deep down you know it's hurting someone other than yourself, whether it be your family, your friends, your son or daughter; whomever it is, you know you're letting them down. But what if this was all you had, what if, despite all those people who love you, this was all that could make you feel alive? This was all you had to drag you through one day after another..

Tell me now, do you feel redemption for these people? I do. Yes, what they're doing is wrong, what they're doing isn't a way out, isn't a right answer, isn't this and isn't that, but instead of trying to scold them, to point out their wrongs, shouldn't we try and help them? They're people too, they're people in danger at that. And weren't we taught, since we were young, that helping people is good. It shouldn't matter what someone needs help with, one should be willing to do so regardless.

I know I am.

So take a second, and think. I'm sure you know someone, someone you care about, who has a problem. And if you don't, you're the luckiest fucker in the whole world and you should be beyond thankful for not having to watch them suffer day in and day out.

But, to those of you who do know someone, just think of the last time you tried to help them. I'm not talking about getting them help, they won't listen to you. They won't listen to you yelling, to you telling them how disappointed you are in them, they've learned to be numb to words such as those. No, instead think of the last time you told them you loved them, told them you cared, told them you were there for them, told them they're not a disappointment..

Really think, because if you don't, you're allowing them to do this. You're willing letting them take minutes, hours, days, off their lives, simply because you're too much a bitch to let them know you care.

Please, don't make the mistake I did. Please, help those you love. Don't let them go, ever. You can be angry at them, you can resent them for what they've done, but please don't ever cut ties, dont' ever walk out on them. They know they're hurting you, but they need to know you care, they need it. They need it much more than you need to prove a point.

Don't let them go, you will lose them. And that's a promise I'm willing to make

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 03:28:48 GMT

Maybe its time to update. I dont even remember my last post. But a few things have happened.

I met ben. He has flipped my world upside down from what it used to be. He has made me so much happier . But still feel like there is a void in my heart from someone else. I cant fully open up to him. I wish I could but its hard when your scared to get hurt. I just wish he could be happyy everyonce and a while. I love seeing him smile but he is always stressed out or has something on his mind. I just wish he could tell me for once.

One month THOUGH:)

Lately Ive been missing my friends. I havent spent much time with friends . I did today with an old freind that i never started talking to until I found out my ex and her were dating. so its fantastic . The only person that was able to get to me is dating my friend. Thats okay Im dating stephens friend :) lol

But yeah I really miss everyone. Honestly I wish talysia was still inmy life. I wish her and i were still best friends. I just hate not having someone to go to. especally with things with ben. I just have a feeling im going to lose everything because of him. I can already feel like hes getting controling. He hates that I smoke and he gets mad at me. he has no clue how hard it is to quit. I am going to try for my second time tommorow . I hate how it makes me feel . Its just said becuase I feel like the one thing i really can rely on in life is ciggarretts. I feel like they will never let me down or put me down. But how should ben know how i feel about it. I rarely open up to him yet again.

I really miss my old life. I miss everything before the stephanie with probelms. I miss the stephanie that never smoked. touched drugs and never did anything she shouldnt. And now thats all stephanie wants. I have stopped smoking weed for good. I did it a few times. and every time i got scared. I dont want to be that anymore. I would rather smoke. I rather just drink. But i cant go back on those days when i should of told my slef no.

So I am going to try a new thing. I am going to go 30 days without a smoke. No booze not nothing. Just to see how my life would be. I want to see how dramatic my life has changed. Its not like I drink often but if i drink i smoke. So not drinking eather. I want to try to record how i feel everyday.

I just miss the old stephanie

& Im 18!

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 00:17:54 GMT

Birthday was fantastic, until i got the phone call...
scott called me . it took so much to not cry because i missed his voice so much.
and we talked for 30 minutes
and the rest of night i just wasent my self
i was outside after all the present were open and cake was cut having a smoke. and i began crying. and i mean balling my eyes out like the day he left me.
My one wish for my birthday was to see him . and i didnt. i just wish he was here. but hes happy now. and im not. so whats the point in even trying....

i have no luck with birthdays.....
on the upside i got a wallet which i love from my big sissy :)
and my tattoo gift certificate
and one tree hill season six!

you cant play on broken strings...

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 23:16:07 GMT

scotts gone. im heartbroken. i need him back. im considering moving there,
i miss him. ...

im having a hard time not crying.ive heold back today but yesturday was hard. i smoked to many cigarettes. and i wanted to puke. idk why.its getting harder.

& I got inked

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 19:59:55 GMT

check it out

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:12:48 GMT

OKay , Its been a while

I have still be reading a few journals, just mainly the ones that update often .
So I thought I should

Lately my best friend has become an issue. I have tryed not to spend as much time with her becuase well shes just being a bitch. Seriously she takes shit out on me that she shouldn't and then she says its my fault. Like today I left my lap top in her van last night becuase I eather could of picked it up last night or had no ride home. She said that she would drive to my place today and drop it off. I didn't ask her for that and she gets her and bitches about how she has no gas when she filled the tank yesturday. Like she always says she has no gas when shes always driving out to calvins(her ex) place all the time. Did I mention to you that he lives almost 20 minutes outside of town? Oh and he dosen't want anything to do with her. I told her so many times to get rid of him and never talk to him again. Even her shrink told her that. UGH! I'm just not going to talk to her for a while until she gets rid of the attitude.

So Yesturday was Canada Day, We got down to the festivities around 3ish? and then scott and I were in the parade to hold up the banner for the retired grey hounds. It was great until... I saw stephen. Yep. After I just got down bitching at him two days before. Thats great so I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. But I kinda freaked out.
After the parade was done, Scott and I went uptown to get food. We then went back to his place so he could fix his hair. Lol its true but it made him feel better.
So after that Scott went and chilled with the boys. I found bean and we walked around. Then almost two hours late Maranda,Dave,Dan,Alex and Paul show up late and some high and some drunk. I couldn't really figure out which o nes were drunk or high. So we all hung out for a bit. And then I get a text from tyson.
Tyson was coming and going to hang out with us for the fire works! So I meet up with him. But by this time I lost the people from work. Lol and never saw them the rest of the night.
The fire works sucked
My phone died half way through the night.
But I still had a very good time. it was great :)

I have a date tommorow with Tyson! Were going mini golfing and going to odell. Spending alot of time outdoors. but I like outdoors but hopefully it won't rain like it has for the past two weeks!

updates again

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 01:09:31 GMT

-prom tommorow
-prom party
-grades also
graduation thurday and safe grad and imdone

Mon, 18 May 2009 23:49:04 GMT

Havent written in two months offically.
Update-Stephen and I broke up because he cheated on me.
-Mike cameinto my life.
-Mike left my life quickly.Didn't want to deal with his attitude.
-Stephen and I started talking again.
-Stephen and I talked more.
-Stephen's best friend asked me to prom
-Britney came into down
-Stephen decdied not to talk anymore
-Stephens best friend decided to not go to prom with me.

yep the past two monthshas been great
Yep. Just great.
Look forward to graduation and then Im done
I get a laptop for graduation

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 02:19:34 GMT

Miss analyize, It's what my new name is. Honestly sometimes I want you to tell you to go fuck yourself. To get your head out of the clouds and grow the fuck up. I't tired of being taunted by your aittude . It annoys me. Sometimes and it seems like most of the time lately I have felt like something has changed . Like were not us anymore. It's more about you now then anyone else. You rather be out with your boys then be around me. Honestly I could care, becuase I like being around my frineds. It brings me down that you act like you don't care.
I just want you to fuck off sometimes....

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 17:52:30 GMT

In law class ... boring.
Thersa post your live journal! lol

MARCH BREAK STARTS IN TWO HOURS ISH! :) SO EXCITED

...You said move on where do I go

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 23:36:14 GMT

I haven't written in about five weeks becuase livejournal like to make sure I know that every time I log in!
I will give short updates

1. Valentines day was awsome:) a part for stephen getting drunk
2. Work party was kick ass!
3. Stephen and I have non-stop been fighting for two weeks. We've had maybe 3 days of not fighting out of the 14 days
4.Working alot more
5.Found my prom dress!
6.March break! soon
7.Getting sick

I don't want to write into detail. but yeah...

Quotes

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 02:01:11 GMT

This are quotes that will be my life?

Stephen and I:

even when the sun forgets to shine
ill be there to hold you through the night
and even when were miles and miles apart
youre the only one that holds my heart.

Graduation:

In the day by day collision called
the art of growing up, there's an
innocence we look for in the stars,
to be taken back to younger days,
when there was no giving up on the
people we held closest to our hearts.

Grad Quote:

I made mistakes, and will make more.
I have spoken without thinking.
I acted without knowing.
I ran instead of walking.
I went after what I wanted instead of waiting for it

The past:

Don't dwell on the past, your history

can't be erased, but your future has

yet to be written. Make the most of

what's going to happen instead of

worrying about what you can't change.

Don't waste your time being sad because

you're wasting away moments in which

you could be happy.

The Present:

just as i began to heal and
the scars began to disappear,
you had to break me and bring me back down

Life:

skip instead of walk. order a diet water wherever

you are and ask with a serious face. when the money

comes out of the ATM machine scream, “i won, i won!”

and when you leave the zoo, run toward the parking lot

yelling, “run for your lives, they’re loose!” live life crazy

One step closer

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 02:53:11 GMT

I haven't reaslly written in along time. I've been un interested in live journal. I think It's because not many of my close friends don't write anymore. I've almost had this o ne journal for a year. This is a record for me.

Updates
1. Christmas Break:)
2.Grandparents here...
3.Presents (So far)
4.Work
5.Stephen and I:)
6.Stomach flu(It should almost be one!)

1. Christmas Break
Christmas break started for me on thursday last week, and sence then I have been super busy. I've had very little down time which sucks. BUT Now I have had a four day break, I've been enjoying it alot. On saturday Stephen and I went out for supper at Jives across the river. It was good, But spending the time with him was better:) I'll get to that later. I also went to the market saturday morning and saw thersa:)
Also on monday I went out for a bit. I don't remember this day very well.
On tuesday I went and picked up bean and gave her present:) I miss seeing her everyday! And we took her to the mall. There I meet up with my dad adn aunt and had lunch. It was good. lol THEN We went to Stephens.
At stephens I was surprised with Stephen and Amber(His friend, which is also one of my good friends) and we hung out for the night. Had a drink or two. it was great:) lol.Then today Stephen and I went to his best friends nan's house and we had christmas supper, it was alot of fun:)

2.Grandparents
My grandmother love her to death,Grandfather He annoys the living shit out of me. Ugh, he thinks he's funny when in reality he hurts peoples feelings and he's pissed me and amanda off at least a dozen times each in the past week. I can't beleive I may get these gene's . In some way I'm kind of glad I'm alittle more intense then he is becuase then I wouldn't think everything is a joke. But he says things in such a hurt ful way. Like he called a lady at the market fat. or something like that to her face!Who does that!? I can't wait till he leaves. He never sits down, he's always gawking over your sholder reading what your writting or looking at your screen asking who's that or what are you doing! It's annoying. It's like he's still stuck in three year old mode. that would explain alot. II can't wait till he leaves.

3.Christmas presents so far
Stephen- Necklace with a heart , Sweater and earings. He likes buying me jewery!
Idr what everyone may have given me

4.Work
I hate it. It seems like I can't gett along with anyone when ever I try. People just do n't like me because I'm loud and bubbly. I'm sorry, it's who I fucking am. Ugh so tired of it. It's like people only like negitive people not happy positive people. Like I'm aware of waht I say( or as maranda would say"Do you ever think before you speck") .After I get my drivers ed taken care of I'm going to save up possibly three pay checks and then quit. I just do n't want to be there anymore. It's kind of depressing in a way. Like I want to work somewhere that I;m comfortable and people are constitly picking at me. ughh

5. Stephen and I:)
Well we have defenitly moved forward in our relationship.Which is awsome. I really think soo. He's begging to oppen up more to me then before. we spend more time talking then anything lately. Like when we talk more we don't fight as much. It's awasome:) he wrote me the first peom for me about a week ago, I almost cryed. I feel more in love him guys:)

6.The Epic Stomach FLu
Ohh man that hit me last sunday at stephen's house. it sucked hard core. I goot home, had a nap and right when I woke up I started throwing up. It was wrong. and it didn't end for almost a day and a bit. I didn't eat a full meal for almost four days. But ohh man my first full meal , oh it was suculent! lol

FINISHED

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 13:45:10 GMT

http://www.quotemountain.com/sayings/funny_pick_up_lines/
Go on this

If you were a booger I'd pick you first.

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 13:23:02 GMT

Quote from Tyson and theatre arts class.

- Tyson Lifting up jar of change
"This is at least five pounds, no wait six"
"Thats a good quote"
"Want to hear my top ten people I want to kill"
" jONAS BROTHERS , Miley cyrus ( Hanna montanna) , That bitch that sings I kissed a girl "
ME- "you mean Katty Perry"
"Yes her, George Bush, Britney spears and paris hilton...... Long pause ... Thats it"

"Wait I'm missing one" lolz
Me-" My nose is dribbling"
Lindsay - "Your wacked girl"
Tyson" MICHEL JACKSON!!!, HOW THE HELL DID I FORGET THAT ONE? "

Thats it

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 01:40:45 GMT

Deep thinking has gotten the best of me. I just can't stop.
Hung up on the future, whats next. Whats going to happen to me is my biggest concern? What if I screw up my life? I think everyone wonders about this before graduation.. but I have still another 7 months! whats that about?
Like it's driving me up the wall and I can't control it. I began looking at the moving out stage which is scary. Alone in a house with no parents just me and my friends or who ever decides to move in with me. I doubt anyone will want to move in with me. I want to prove people I'm good roomate material. I am. I'm a super clean freak, even thought it may not seem like it, I am.
And then you start putting the price of things down and you relize you need a better job. I do need a better job that will pay for everything. I have to find a new job by at least March. And then I realized that food costs so much that I'm going to end up being one of those people who only eat mr.noodles and mac and cheese. My breakfasdt will consists of lucky charms, pop tarts or toast. I could list off what I know to make , it won't make more then 10 things! I'm screwed.... lol

Okay other then cooking is buy stuff. You know how much stuff I need or want. Well I want to replace the tv in my room and get a flat screen for the living room but those are alot of money.Then theres a couch, coffee table and proubly a chiar. I think I will make all my furniture out of card board boxs, they're very sturdy!.Yeap, thats what I will do. Also stuff for the kitchen, you have to buy plates, cups, untesils, cook ware, and everything oh and a table but I think my table will be a card board box like the coffee table! lol. The best thing about it is if you spill we can just throw it out and get another one with out worrying about paying for it! OMG I'm a red neck! lol

And then bills. Oh the bills. There will be cable but I could go without most likely as long as I have my internet I am good. Also! i NEED a computer, which may be my grad present.... hum maybe!? anyway so I will need to pay for power and heating which is high but you have to have someone 19 or older sign for it when your under 19. Which sucks.

And then trasportation? How the hell am I going to get around. I want to live on a bus route so then i can use that. It could work out. But getting a car would be almost better but using the bus is better because you don't have to pay gas and insurance and car payments. And I can get a unlimted rider pass! lol so theres like 2000 dollars saved, I could totally buy more non card board furtiure with that! lol

The roomate. I'm debating between a friend, Stephen, or by my self. Of course stephen would have to be employeed and we would have to be really seriouse into our relationship for this to happen but i think it's possible! I'm not sure.

Okay thats werid but I spent the whole post on my next home. Wow.

I wish tou were here with me... this distance is killing me

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 17:47:27 GMT

So I fianlly got the photos to go on lj! yay! but the thing is that well there about 2 weeks old. so here enjoy!

yes I was laying in bed! lol, everyone who looked at my pictures asked about this. don't ask

Lol theatre arts! i love this class, and the conversations!

THIS is Julien! he's my grade 11 friend in pschyology:)

Halloween at FHS! ir scott being werid! lol

my baby<3

yeah thats it

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 23:34:56 GMT

I Hate This Part -Pussycat dolls

We're driving slow through the snow on 5th Avenue
And right now radio's all that we can hear
Now we ain't talk since we left, it's so over due
It's cold outside but between us its worse in here

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left is good-bye
To find a way that I can tell you
I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here

Everyday, 7 takes of the same old scene
Seems we're bound by the loss of the same routine
Gotta talk to you now before we go to sleep
But will you sleep once I tell you with hurting me

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left is good-bye
To find a way that I can tell you
I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here

I know you'll ask me to hold on
And carry on like nothing's wrong
But there is no more time for lies
'Cause I see sunset in your eyes

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left is good-bye
To find a way that I can tell you

That I gotta do it,
I gotta do it,
I gotta do it
I hate this part
I gotta do it,
I gotta do it,
I gotta do it

I hate this part right here
And I just can't take these tears
I hate this part right here

Do you ever have one of those days when everything doesn't seem to go your way? lately thats what it'e been like. Like the song is just a blah thing. Its something that keeps smaking me int he face kinda. I don't know. It dseon't make sence in my head.
I'm not sure how stephen and i are doing. I really don't we haven't gone anywhere in our relationship and i just feel incredibly sad right now. Like i want to open up to him but it seemed like everythime i opened up to someone in my past they have used it against me. I know he's not like that but he dsoen't open up eather. hopefully this weekend will make things better.
On antoher note. I haven't figured out how to put those pictures on the computer yet. I will figure it out. like there on the computer but they won't let me move them off palm photos! its gay.
I'm going to be busy for the next couple days after friday . Which has now seemed to become my normal routine for my life now. always on the run. always doing somethng. ohh well.
I'm done talking today.

Graduation?

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 22:26:01 GMT

In 250 characters I'm expected to write my grad quote. Not enought paper in the world could explain the feelings mixxed into the journey each on of us have gone throught in the past 12 or 13 years. I want to write out to everyone how much they mean to me but thye won't let me.
These are some that I want to use

I made mistakes, and will make more.
I have spoken without thinking.
I acted without knowing.
I ran instead of walking.
I went after what I wanted instead of waiting for it.

actually its one for now.
No one steal that one. I will kill you if you do!

Am I scaring you tonight?

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 23:28:28 GMT

Updates!

So yes I have been taking pictures like mad!

Were going to start this post like it was monday

School evactuation!

We had some fun sitting on the mall floors! yeah lol.

Tuesday(Today)

Muriel McQueen Furguson Foundation today at lunch.Didn't get a picture of Katleen aka the all time bitch. Shes so boring. I did much better last year then she is this year... haha , she will see.
Yummy Salad:)

Then I relized in Forth that I had to go to the dentist
Soo...

They froze my mouth, and I looked like I had a stroke!

So we took pictures in the bathroom. lol

We Found scotty! YAY!

So this is my first full picture blog! It's great .Thank you to _____7ate9:) I love this idea

Bitch please.

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 00:25:07 GMT

OKay the past week has been terrible. Stephen and I have hit a rough patch. It does happen.
reasons why
1. Amy calling
2.Soposed date with a friend named emily alone.
3.Trust issues.

But they all worked out. Thats then end of it all.

I also got my nose pierced:)

I almost passed out getting it done:) haha it was funny.

Also grad photos.

Which look like shit.

Also I saw a rainbow this week:)

And I made a few new frineds

Nick
Jeff
Brent
Frank
And of course Scotty:)

I love Stephens friends:)

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 19:39:56 GMT

Pretty much the only person who saw my last post was the o nly person I really wanted it to be seen by. It was childish of me to act in that way by using lj as a device but sometimes I need to be. I'm sorry if I hurt anyones feelings lately, I really am.

I haven't been do alot of self thinking of my own lately , I've been wrapped up in everyone else little world.
Some things happened last week that I'm not happy with.
I wish I could take back things I said a few months ago but that would be regreting something and now as I sit hear I realize I still hate him for what he has done to me. What he has done to tear me apart, He didn't it becuase he knew how too but I own't let anyone close enough to do that anymore.
I'm keeping stephen at a distance that its safe for us at the moment. Trusting people is not as easy as I let it out to be. I may seem like I tell everything to everyone but theres some much I keep hidden. Things that not even myself can let go. I think for the rest of my life I WILL carry around stuff that has came upon me in the past 4 years.
High school is there to teach people how they should be when they get out of school. I'm considering in my mind of not finishing school becuase I am afraid. Afraid of the future becase I'm the one out there calling the shots. not my parents, not my friends, not teachers or bosses, just myself. I'm scared I'll screw up and never get out of the mess I made. I'm scared I will leave people behind that mean't the most to me. I feel like I never really got a chance to be a child but instead I grew up along side my sister.
I'm scared. But there are so many positives in what my future will bring for me. Like I have been waiting to be finally free and well its sittign there at the doorstep and am I to scared to a nswer the door? I hope not, but no matter what it will happen sooner or later. It will.
A couple weeks ago people asked how was school... my responce "I want to drop out"
I do. I really do . Its not becuase its hard. Its becuase in my head everything is coming to a close and people are going to drift away no matter what.I can't help that really.
Maranda and I will proubly be frineds for life becuase well we have been together for 12 years now and were still going as strong as ever. Not saying wee best of best frineds but we know each other really well.
Everyone else, I can see going there own ways.

Well thats it for today.

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 13:23:14 GMT

I hope you shove this post up your ass. I hate you. I'm done with you. I should of never brought you back into my life. All you have been is stress for me and Stephen and now your gone,,,, AND THANK GOD. I'm so happy yout gone and I don't have to ever deal with you again. I hope your ego kills you inside and someone one kills you for what rude unthoughtful things you say. I know thats mean but thats what you have been to me the entire time we've talked. All I've been was nice too you but now I'm throught. You know how to push my buttons, congradulations, so does 30% of the people who know me. It dosen't make you anybetter then the rest. You must think your all that , but your ego will not get you anywhere. Just in a whole with you and your little girlfriend and then you relize what you truley lost. Have a great life Kyle Harrison Woodman.

Yeah my rant for today

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 00:32:35 GMT

Well every one is writting little posts about how they feel about each other today so why don't I?

But I will tell them thier names
I dont care if you get pissed off becasuse its what I beleive and I won't hde behind it anymore.

Maranda Phillips - I'm sorry you feel like you have to say the things you did on your post. I'm sorry that we pretyt much gone our sepret ways but I had a hard tim eaccepting that you and alysha were close now and I wasen't with you. I guess I was jelouse. But just because you and alyasha have been friends sence grade 8 dosen't mean you leave the friend behind that you have also been frineds with for 12 years. Me you aren;t close. I wouldnt let it happen and most people will never get there but you have something that most people don't get to expirence with me , that is the time you've had with me. I don't want to spend my grade 12 year fghting with you at all. Not with anyone. Sometimes I get fustrated with the situations we put our sleves in but I I will never choose side. I do not spend all my time with Stephen. I spend sometime wiht him because I only get to see him once a week. You have to understand I worked fulltime over the summer and had manybe two days off a week. Whatever time I had I spent with him but I was willing to give up that time to hang out wiht any of my friends. I was waiting for you to ask because you were always with alysha. Younever asked me once over the summer. It has always been like that thought so I didn''t expect anything diffrent this summmer .
I don;t want to fight with you. I love you and you are a great person.

Actaully maranda was the only one I wanted to write to right now.
Later on.
Sorry about singleing you out on this one post maranda. I couldn't think of anything to rant about right now

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 21:45:58 GMT

Welcome to the world
Ayva Marie White:)